Imagine living your normal life until suddenly, it is announced that there is going to be a Minecraft movie. You are confused at this sudden development. After years and years of production, the common population seemed to forget about the announcement that occurred on February 27th, 2014. Then, in September of 2024, over 10 years after the announcement, we got a “trailer”. Everyone on the planet who possesses access to the internet was in shock. “Why does this exist?” is what everyone thought. The movie was made fun of by everyone, and it did not look good for the trailer to have over 1 million dislikes….
Fast forward to April 4th, 2025, and it was time for the memes to take over. When Steve said “Chicken Jockey”, everyone went crazy.
The movie begins with a young Steve, who as a child yearned for the mines. However, since mining is dangerous, he was kicked out of the mines and couldn’t work there. Fast forward several years, he hates his work as a doorknob salesman because all creativity is prohibited. Eventually, he realized that he could go back to the mines, so he did. He began digging and digging until he found an Orb, and this Orb made a portal to the overworld, which according to Steve, is “a place where anything you dream about could be made out of blocks.”
Fast forward a number of years, and we find ourselves in the most forgettable state ever, Colorado. There, another character is introduced: Garett, who’s played by Jason Mamoa, or Aquaman from the DCEU movies. Garett is the personification of the gamer stereotype. He is obsessed with retro consoles, and probably doesn’t even know what a play station is. There is another guy named Henry, and he and his sister Natalie are only just moving to Colorado. Henry likes to build cool stuff, but nobody else in Colorado shares this passion because Colorado is the most forgettable and boring state. Garett goes to a garage sale for an Atari, but it’s just the box. However, he finds the “Orb” from earlier inside of it. MINECRAFT! Natalie meets her neighbor, Dawn. Henry builds a jetpack, but his dumbass classmates decided to ruin it, and the jetpack flies into a building, where surprisingly nobody is hurt. Henry goes to Garett’s videogame shop and finds the “Orb”, and that’s when things really start to ramp up….
Alright, I’m too lazy to explain it all, but eventually Garett, Henry, Natalie, and Dawn end up in the Overworld. Once the gang is in Minecraft, it suddenly becomes nighttime. Henry, for some unknown reason, punches a tree and learns he can build things out of blocks. He builds a fort at night to protect everyone from zombies and skeletons, just like people playing the game do in Survival mode. At one point, a group of zombies manage to break into this fort, but then… Steve somehow appears and kills the zombies, epically delivering one of the greatest lines of all time:
“I… Am Steve.”
The gang follows Steve to a village called Newport, where the villagers from Minecraft are there. After a cool cameo which I will not spoil, Steve sings a song about lava chicken.
After explaining the first act of the movie in such detail, I will now review this movie. A Minecraft Movie is not very good and should only be seen in theatres for one of the best scenes of all time, “CHICKEN JOCKEY”. This is a fun movie to watch; it’s a comedy, and it never takes itself seriously, because everyone involved seems to be aware of how dumb it is. According to some IMDB reviews, if you are a neckbeard, taped glasses critic whose humor consists of Generation X humor, this movie is not for you. If you are Gen Z or Alpha, you are more likely to have a fun time watching this movie. The theatre experience is like no other, with people throwing popcorn and completely trashing the place—which maybe isn’t the greatest, especially for the workers, but that has famously been the case.
What do other students think of A Minecraft Movie? One student, Eli, shared, “Overall, the movie was bad, but not so bad that it’s good. Mid movie, it did have a lot of funny moments, which was the reason people went to theatres to see it. In my opinion, it tried too hard to be a real movie, when it should have had more comedy.” Nye commented, “It looks so ugly from what I’ve seen. The visuals are way too bright.” And lastly, a third student named Dylan admitted, “I never watched it, but it’s entertaining from what I’ve seen.” Now, only 1/3 of interviewees have seen this movie, but some might say it accurately reflects public opinion.
Now that I have reviewed this movie one month too late, I just have to say, watch it if you want; I won’t make you.
