Are you scared of actually tasting coffee? Do you like feeling as if you’re drinking melted ice cream but don’t want to face the shame of walking into school with your morning milkshake (aka Frappuccino)? 

If so, Starbucks’ Iced Pecan Crunch Oat Latte is the perfect fall drink for you. It’s a mouthful of words when you order it, and a mouthful of sweetness when you drink it. Foamy and nutty, the blonde latte is an excellent choice for high schoolers afraid to admit at the register that they don’t like coffee. If you’re terrified of getting burned at the stake for ordering a Strawberry Acai Refresher Lemonade this fall around the caffeine-addicted Starbucks regulars, I highly recommend panicking and ordering this. This drink is subtle in the coffee and chemical pecan taste, but devoid of the promised crunch. However, it remains admittedly addicting. 

But how does it compare to their other fall drinks? 

Before September even hit, let alone fall, Starbucks billboards began invading Sodo, pressuring innocent passersby into buying their Pumpkin Spice Latte. Once the Starbucks CEO received an almost biblical vision in which he experienced a slight autumnal breeze, their fall menu was launched.  

Though a Starbucks favorite and a staple of Christian Girl Autumn, I’ve never personally enjoyed a PSL or any kind of pumpkin drink from Starbucks. Any time I give into the voices telling me to buy one, I can’t get past a third sip. Something about the strong taste of grassy, lab-developed pumpkin syrup can’t quite get me into the fall mood. Too blinded by their patriotic tolerance to overly processed food and drink, I firmly believe that Starbucks Pumpkin Spice lovers have been brainwashed by Starbucks’ advertising and peer pressure. They also keep coming back for more because of excess amount of SUGAR, SUGAR, SUGAR. 

After claiming the drink was just okay, Leigh Pixton manically exclaimed: “Immediately after finishing my pumpkin spice chai, I must actively resist the urge to whip out my credit card again.”