West Seattle High has officially entered its most chaotic phase of the semester. With exams popping up in every class and winter sports launching without warning, finding a moment to breathe feels impossible. We’re experiencing full-blown “Test Week Terror” and the struggle is real. This week’s column is more than just a rant about the sudden academic pain and athletic mayhem; it’s the definitive survival guide you didn’t know you needed. So, let’s break down how we’re going to make it through this mess together.
Test Week Terror
Somehow, every single teacher decided that the best time to give us tests is Tuesday AND Thursday of the same week. It’s like they held a secret meeting where someone said, “Hey, how can we ruin the vibe right before break?” and everyone else just nodded in agreement.
Tuesday felt like a mass panic drill. Math test. English quiz. That one class that claims “this isn’t really a test” but still hands you something that looks like it came straight from the SAT. You know the type.
And then Thursday is round two: more tests, more stress, more hallway zombies dragging themselves to class with a half-finished Starbucks in hand like it’s an emotional support beverage. Someone whispered “I can’t do this” in the hallway and five other people said “same” without even looking up. As they walk into class, they stare helplessly at the teachers who think it’s fun and original to get everything out of the way before Thanksgiving. This level of academic betrayal should be illegal. By the end of the week, the entire school deserves a trophy. A parade. A nap. Something.
Winter Sports Chaos
Suddenly the hallways are filled with:
Basketball kids already practicing like the championships are next week.
Wrestlers treating the hall stairs like they’re part of conditioning.
Coaches roaming the halls looking for “potential” like they’re scouting for a Netflix documentary.
It’s like ESPN mixed with academic burnout and bad fluorescent lighting. The best part is watching winter athletes try to memorize vocabulary terms while also icing a sore shoulder. The level of multitasking is heroic. Everyone else is talking about their weekend plans—some going out of town, some planning to sleep for 48 hours straight—but honestly nobody can think past Thursday. Test week brain has taken over. But it’s okay because we are all thinking about next weekend’s 4-day holiday extravaganza.
Thanksgiving Energy
And THEN, along with everything else, people are talking about Thanksgiving like it’s the light at the end of the tunnel—except every person has a totally different vibe. Some people are doing the classic “big family dinner with every relative who’s ever existed.” Some are traveling and already regretting their life choices. Some are claiming they’re going to help cook, but we all know they will just stand in the kitchen scrolling on their phone until someone hands them a bowl. Then, there’s the “I’m using Thanksgiving to sleep for 48 hours and avoid all responsibilities” people, who honestly have the right idea. The funniest part is the conversations in class:
People are taking tests while whispering things like “I just want turkey” or “If this test ruins my Thanksgiving, I’m suing.”
Same.
The whole school is basically crawling toward a plate of food and a nap. But we still have 8 days ‘til the break is here, so here’s a survival guide to get us all through until then.
Nevaeh’s Official Test Week Survival Guide
Because clearly, we’re all struggling.
- Bring a drink.
Coffee, tea, energy drink—whatever keeps you conscious and at least able to pretend to understand the material.
- Pretend to study in the hallway.
It won’t help, but it makes you feel productive, and that’s what matters.
- Avoid athletes carrying giant sports bags.
Those things are basically battering rams with straps.
- Do not make eye contact with teachers on Thursday.
They can smell your fear. - Sit next to someone who looks confident.
You won’t be able to copy, but the confidence radiates. - Complain to your friends.
It builds community. And character. Probably. - Treat yourself after the test.
Snack. Nap. Scroll. Do whatever your soul needs to recover. - Remind yourself that we’re almost at break.
Delusion is a coping mechanism, and I support it.
See you next Wednesday—assuming I survive both the Thursday test and winter sports hallway traffic disasters.
–Nevaeh
